Rediscovering You
by Flyer without Wings
Summary: Mary is called back to Misselthwaite Manor with the news that her uncle has died.She tries to balance her new responsibilities as lady with her growing feelings for Dickon.Both have changed since she left and she is determined to find out how.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Mary was coming home. It was the end of her final term at the finishing school her dear uncle had sent her to, but she felt no excitement because this was not the only reason she was coming home. Her uncle, Archibald Craven, was dead. He had not lived very long life, or a very happy one, but she had loved him and now he was gone. Tears rolled silently down her cheeks just like the rain outside the window. The rain reminded her of the first time she had come to Misselthwaite Manor, both times after deaths happening to people close to her, but this was the first time it had mattered. Since Colin had not married yet, she was the lady of the house and she would be expected to see to the details of Uncle's funeral. But for now, she just let herself cry.

As the train neared Thwaite Station, she dried her tears and tried to look like a dignified young lady. She was still trying to hold back the tears when she dismounted the stairs and saw Ms. Medlock waiting for her. She smiled a little, because Mrs. Medlock still looked the same as she had all those years ago when she had been a sallow, disagreeable nine year old.

"Good morning Miss Mary. The carriage is this way." That was all the greeting she would get from Mrs. Medlock.

The carriage ride back reintroduced her to the wonders of the moor in early summer and she felt her breath catch at its beauty. Another few tears escaped at the memories the view brought back, but Mrs. Medlock decided to ignore these.

"The Manor hasn't changed very much while you've been away, and the garden has been taken care of by Phil Sowerby." Mrs. Medlock was saying.

Mary interrupted her here, "Phil? But what about Dickon? I mean, not that Phil probably isn't doing a good job but…"

Mrs. Medlock gave her a kindly smile. "Dickon has started to work as the veterinarian in town, since so many people brought their animals to him anyway. He asked Phil to take over since Phil has the same green thumb and was Mr. Weatherstaff's assistant for a few years before he died."

"That's right. Of course Dickon should take that opportunity."

The rest of the ride across the moor passed in a similar manner until the carriage drew to a halt in front of the Manor. Mary took a moment before she opened the door and went around to face the crowd. She was home.

Colin gave his cousin a weary smile as she came around the side of the carriage. These past few weeks had been hard. He was just glad that she had gotten home safe. He opened his arms to give her a hug. "It's good to see you Mary." Then he pulled back a bit into his new role. "Would you like to see your room first, or be served? Supper will be served at your convenience."

Mary was a little surprised at how formal he was acting, but since she could see the effects of the strain and grief she decided to play along. "I will view my rooms and be ready for supper in a half an hour if that is agreeable."

Colin gave a short nod. "It shall be done." At a signal, some of the servants started to carry Mary's bags upstairs to whatever room she would be occupying. She hoped it wasn't her old one. There were too many memories there, and she wasn't ready for that yet.


	2. Dinner

**Chapter 2**

Colin led her up the stairs so it wouldn't be like she was following the servants. Thankfully, the room they were going to seemed to lead away from where her old room had been. But she also began to feel a little uncomfortable. She remembered exploring the rooms over here and they had always seemed very grand. She didn't want anything grand. Once again, this wish was not answered.

Colin finally pushed open the door to her room. It was very grand indeed. The sitting room had a delicate dogwood table in it with four chairs in a matching wood. A lady's desk sat against the window that looked out over the moor. A silver chandelier hung from the ceiling. Three of the walls were painted a pale rose color. The fourth wall had a mural that was painted on it of a party that must have occurred at the house, but rather than looking festive, it looked very stiff. Almost as if everyone was at a funeral for someone they didn't particularly know so they weren't feeling very sad, just formal. The light green rug sat under the table and chairs to protect the wooden floor.

She went through the door in the wall across from the mural into the bedroom. It was no less grand in here. The bed was made of old mahogany and was carved ornately all along the four posts. The bedspread looked like it was made of old lace, complete with tassels. The walls were a faded blue color and it seemed like her feet sank into the rug up to her ankles. The dresser was made in rosewood with a large mirror. She could see the frame of the mirror was also carved delicately. She went back out to where Colin was standing and turned to him. "Oh, Colin, I don't know…"

Her cut her off quickly. "This is the room for the lady of the house. Please make yourself comfortable. Supper will be brought to your room in a half an hour since I am sure you are tired after your journey. Good night." He gave her a swift tilt of the head, as if he was bowing, before closing the door.

Mary turned back to the room. It appeared that she was stuck in this room. At least it had a view of the moor. She slowly unpacked her clothes and put them into the drawers of the dresser. She looked around one more time, and she caught sight of a small bookshelf. One of the shelves was filled with jade carvings of various exotic animals, like tigers. Fortunately, the bottom shelves were empty so she filled those with the books she had brought from school. She slid the luggage carriers under her bed and went back out into the sitting room. Just then, a knock came and Martha came in with a tray of food.

"Martha!" Mary sprang up to hug her old friend but waited until she put the tray of food down. Oh Martha, I'm so glad to see you! How is everybody? How is your mother? I was wondering if I should go visit her soon, but I wanted to get settled in first at least…" She stuttered to a stop. "Martha?"

"Enjoy your dinner Lady Mary." She left.

Mary stared at the closed door. What had happened? Why wouldn't Martha talk to her? She had never had a problem before and Mary had been looking forward to taking to her like they used to. The thought came unbidden. _Like they did before her uncle had died._ Mary collapsed in the chair and buried her head in her arms before she started to cry.

When she had finished weeping, she slowly dried her eyes and worked her way mechanically through the food. She left the tray where it was when she was done. She went into the next room and slowly dressed for bed. Then she crawled into the soft sheets and dropped into an exhausted sleep. But just before she did, she felt a few more tear leak onto her pillow.

**So here is the second chapter in my story. I hope you like it and please review. Any comments help!**

**~Flyer**


	3. Making Small Changes

**Chapter 3**

Mary had decided that it was time to find out what was going on. She had woken up early, and she knew Martha hadn't come yet, so she waited until she heard Martha stirring the fire before she crept out of her room and shut the door from the sitting room into the hallway. Martha spun around when she heard the click of the door.

She curtsied quickly. "I apologize if I woke you, Lady Mary. If you wish I can send someone up to help you dress."

"Martha, what's wrong? I haven't needed someone to help me dress since you taught me how. I was gone to a boarding school to learn to be a lady, not to be an imbecile. Why won't you talk to me?" The last was said a little desperately.

Martha looked startled. "You are a lady, Lady Mary. I'm a servant from the moor. You are the lady of the house, and Colin said you were to be treated as such."

Mary set her mouth stubbornly. "Well, then as the lady of the house I ask you to talk to me like you used to, and be my friend again." She dropped the airs she had learned at school. "I need a friend right now Martha. Everything is so strange since I've been here, and so many things have changed since I've been gone. Please?"

Martha relaxed. "Thank goodness for that. I hated having to follow that rule, but Colin said we needed to."

"Martha, what happened to your Yorkshire?" Mary asked.

"Oh." She grimaced. "Mrs. Medlock insisted that I learn to speak like a proper English girl so that when we have guests over, it won't be as shocking. I'm too good of a housemaid now."

"So tell me all that has happened since I've been gone."

Martha settled down and gossiped with her over all of the little happenings that had occurred for at least thirty minutes and Mary was happy that she had at least one friend. Now to talk to Colin…

After she had eaten breakfast and changed, Mary went downstairs to find Colin. She needed to explain to him that she wanted to be treated as Mary, not the lady of the house unless there were people they needed to impress. She also needed to find Mrs. Medlock so they could discuss the…the…the funeral.

On the way downstairs, she passed the door to Colin's old room. She smiled as she remembered him as he had been then, weak and fretful, convinced he was going to die. IT was such a different picture from the strong, intelligent athlete who was in charge of Misselthwaite.

She found him in his old work room, now his office it appeared. The floor was covered in some kind of pale wood, and bookshelves covered two of the walls. The other walls were painted a deep, rich red. Colin had his sleeves rolled up as he worked at his large desk. His hair was ruffled as he stared intently at one of the papers in front of him.

"Colin, may I come in?" Mary asked quietly.

He looked up. "Of course you can. I hope you have found your rooms suitable. Did you need something?"

"Actually, I did need one thing. I need you to be my cousin again, and not the lord around me. I would also like it if the servants could treat me the way they used to, and only be formal in front of me when there is company, but that I can work on if need be."

Colin gaped at her for a moment before remembering himself. "Of course, of course. I just thought…well you were at school for so long that I wasn't sure if…never mind. It's good to have you back Mary."

"I'm beginning to feel that it is good to be back. Now that I've gotten Martha and you to understand, I can work on the other servants. School didn't change me, Colin. It just meant that I have more knowledge now about how to act around the right people then I did before." She finished quietly.

"I should have remembered how stubborn you were. Have you seen the garden yet?" He asked.

"No," she replied. "Not yet. I-how does it look?" She asked in a rush.

Colin looked startled at her question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, is it a gardener's garden now? Or does it still have its curtains and fountains of roses, and its barely maintained path and its carpets of snowdrops? I guess, I guess that I mean, if it has changed too much I might just want to keep the memories I have of it, but I want to know first."

Colin looked carefully at his cousin. She was radiant in her pale pink morning gown, but she was nervous. She had been gone much longer than he had, and she had always held onto the garden tighter. "It is not the same." He waited as she drew in a quick breath. "It still has its curtains and fountains, its carpets of flowers, and its barely maintained paths. But since none of the original three caretakers has touched it in over two years it has changed some to reflect Phil's caretaking. It is a wild garden with a gardener's touch." He waited again while Mary visibly relaxed.

"Well, I guess I had better find Mrs. Medlock. I need to find out what exactly my new duties entail." She grimaced.

Colin chuckled. "I'll talk to the servants then, as soon as I finish this paperwork."

**I apologize a million times over for how long it has taken me to update. The combination of school, rehearsals for the musical, and a touch of writer's block made it impossible to update. I hope this answers some of your questions and I'll try to be better in the future.**

**~Flyer**


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